好難得我想打中文...hehe

好多時都會覺得自己為左一d自己唔可以控制o既事去煩, 去唔開心, 去後悔...
尋日去左見maddy (我o既profesora<--spanish) 傾黎緊11月出clinical internship o既事, 一個星期之前其實已經交左意向表, 寫下自己o既長處短處同埋將來畢業想做d乜等等, 睇下自己個goal fit邊一間醫院.

我有問過家姐同同學o既意見, 家姐就支持我去大醫院, 因為大醫院個名響d, 加上佢地又咁專bb呀, 婦產科之類(我有興趣) 其實我知道自己需要去一d有名氣o既醫院去build up自己o既resume, 我要比人地好x10先或者會被欣賞, 要我做普通o既醫院怕突出唔倒, 不過當然大醫院會嚴d, 但我覺得唔嚴點學野呀?

但係呢, 有個同學就suggest我去holy family, 佢比o既reason就係因為近...holy family其實係唔錯o既醫院, 有150個床位咁上下, 唔大又唔算太細, 但係佢地唔係專某一科, 而係乜都有...雖然係近, 但係我又唔甘心去細醫院, 可能學野冇咁多!!!

咁我去見maddy啦, 聽佢口氣, 佢應該會send我去holy family!! 佢第一個reason都係話因為近!! 我好驚係因為佢覺得我handle唔倒大醫院o既壓力所以要我去lee間醫院呀!! 我已經冇乜自信咖啦, 仲要派placement都只係去最簡單o既話, 我真係會覺得自己好冇用咖!!! maddy加左句" i'm sure you will do fine wherever you go" 同埋" every student will pretty much do and be exposed to the same cases", 不過冇乜說服力喎!!! 我o個d意願已經暗示我prefer去o個間大醫院, 但係唔通真係以"就腳"去決定我o既去向??? 我又好d"monk"自己, 既然真係想去大醫院, 點解唔同maddy講?? 仲要扮開心! 點解唔有自信d同佢講自己要接受挑戰?!!!

如果真係派左去holy family都唔知係好定唔好...我一直o既intern placement都係好似做d easy job, 我覺得我想學多d technical o既野, 我唔係唔鍾意教小朋友nutrition, lee個都係一個唔錯o既opportunity, 但係其他同學去做research, 做WIC (women, infant, children) clinic 比我e加做o既更有實在感, 更接近real world, 覺得自己做lee d 唔需要一個dietetics o既 degree都可以呀!!! 我收倒placement o個陣見倒自己個名又係排到最後真係有d hurt咖, 但可能排最後唔等於prof最後先安排我o既placement...唉, 簡直係庸人自擾之呀~~~

有感自己一直都被派做一d easy job, 其實諗真可能係神o既安排, 佢怕我有難題會好易give up, 佢想我一直堅持到e加, 係o既真係要感恩~~~ 我都唔知神對我o既 plan呀...上個sem去老人院實習,個residence係自己抽o既, 又係最易o既case, 好似都冇乜點學野, 不過lee個唔係人安排咖, 係自己抽, 所以冇得怨, 但係真係想接觸多d more complicated o既case, 學多d野呀!!!!

期待